Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Weekly-weigh in + Busy busy busy

CW: 84,6 kg/186,5 lbs (BMI 30,3)
Loss: 2,0 kg/4,4 lbs
GW1: 78 kg/171,9 lbs (BMI 28)
So, that ED girl from my class just went craaaaazy when I told her I hadn't even made my blog-entry yet. So I thought I'd better do it. Plus, it's 9.15pm and I haven't told you about my weight-loss yet. 
I am so happy that I have finaly found a way that works. I don't care about how I do it, how dangerous it as and all that crap. Seriously, stop the hypocriting (is that a word?). You girls probably all say that you will do whatever it takes to get skinny too, right? So no judging, ay?

So, Today have been a busy busy busy day. Got up at 8.30am (laaazy), went to work at 10am, got of 4pm, was home 4.30pm, gym 5pm, home again 6.45pm and have been baking cookies until 9.15pm. I teel you girls, baking 90 cookies when you can only have 12 in the oven is REALLY a long process! Like, I have spend 2½ hour baking cookies that I am not going to eat myself?! Luckily, I have some awesome friends, and two of them stopped by to keep me company until 8 :)
Today ahs been a good day. Ate nothing for breakfast, 2 rice-crackers with cheese (38 each) for lunch. Then ate 4 bites of pork roast, some crisps and some hard drops. Purged that in the sink of the lunch-room at my work, then realized that when you purge, the food isn't digested yet. Therefore, I had to stand there and remove my own vomit from the sink and into the trashcan. Yay me for being so smart, huh? Well, had 3 more rice crackers with cheese when I got home (38 each - still) and 1 cookie (200). Then had 2 spring rolls that I purged, simply because it was a whole meal, and I don't like the thought of having eaten a whole meal. So I don't know how bad it is, but it can't be too bad, right?

I have found a new game on Facebook that I am becoming addicted to. Monster World, anybody? Some of the monsters are sooo cute (of course, min had to be the ugliest posible, and it costs real money to change the look ._.), and the plants are sooo cool! It's like, diamond, and candycanes, and lemonade bottle, and magic lamps and stuff! I'm totally feeling at home in that world, lol!

Yesterday, I realized something that made me real upset. First, a background story: as you may have noticed, I dye my hair a lot. I have been dyeing - dying (?) it regularly since I was 14. That meaning, for 3 years I have dyed it at least once a month, but the last 2 years, it has more been like, two times a month. Which means that, even with all the hair-care products I use, my hair is pretty worn out. The yesterday, when I was down at the scouts, we were making theese bookmarks (dried flowers in laminate), and the kids kept removing some long black hairs from the cases. One of them stood up and looked me in the heair, and told me that I was getting bald. I am not, but me real haircolor is light blond, so when you dye it black, the out-growing can be spotted pretty quick, and I look almost bald when they get long. I told the kid this, and they were just like, "okay, cool". Then when I got home, I sat in the living room with my parrents. My dad went out into the kitchen to get something to drink, and when he got back, he stood behind me and played with my hair, suddenly exclaiming: "maybe you should take a break from all the hair-dying. You're hair has gotten really really thin!".
I know that for most eating disorder - at least those who are as fucked as me - get this problem because of the lack of nutrition. But seriously girls, I really really don't wanna be bald at the age of 20!!! Do you girls have any advice on what I can do? I already spend tons of hair-care products and expensive shampoos that should make it heal. I was thinking more about, do you know which vitamins and minerals are important for the hair? I believe it's the same as the nails, which would be calcium, right? But I honestly don't know! Advise guys, please! :(

There was something else I wanted to tell you... Something I needed advise on too, I think. But I really, really canøt remember!
Let me gues - it will come to me as soon as I have posted this, right?
Let's try it!

I love you guys so much. But I tell you that every time.
I still mean it, none-the-less.
I really do love you. Like, true love. Deep emotional love, comming all the way from my stomac.
You aer so wonderful :)
Stay strong, think thin, be beautiful!
- Bella


  1. Bella belle, I am going to give you the same scolding I gave Sam Lupin - this routine purging needs to be controlled darling!! I am very much opposed to purging to begin with, but after a massive binge or infrequently that is one thing which I totally understand. But purging many times throughout the day, day after day is SO dangerous. Your hair, your teeth, your skin. Darling. I know you want to be skinny, but if you are going bald and have rotting teeth then what's the point of having a beautiful body. I know you have the strength to restrict so you need to control the purging. It's just SO dangerous and if you get into a habit of purging everything you are going to destroy yourself. I am definitely not judging you, just don't destroy your beautiful face. There is more to being beautiful than just being thin, so you need to get thin and keep the rest too. Anyway darling, no more preaching I promise. I was recommended pre-natal vitamins for hair growth. :) Apparently they work wonders! I'm trying to get my hands on some now!! :D :D Keep strong! Xo

  2. look - i'm being mentioned by my wife! damn you, FP! xD <3
    i'm a routine purger so...:3 i've actually spent an hour and a half purging. gah. it hurts so bad. purge, purge, purge. we all purge loads sometimes. *sigh* my hair stopped thinning actually. :( i don't know. :/

    -Sam Lupin

  3. Protein is the best thing; your hair and nails are made from keratin which is a protein. You can't actually repair hair when it's grown and damaged, you can give the appearance of it through products but the best is through vitamins so your hair grows through better.

    Also, most women lose more hair in autumn/winter anyway (I can't remember why but we do), so it's normal to go a bit thin.

    Best vitamins are: B5, B6 (for helping your body use iron and protein), B7. Phosphorus is good for helping you use the B vitamins. If you want a bit more info (like which foods to find each of these in if you can bring yourself to eat them; if not look for a hair/skin/nails multivitamin with these in), I wrote these which you might find helpful:

  4. aweeee. <3 <3 awe, I love you so much, Bellsie. <3

    ~Sam Lupin

  5. didn't get a chance to do the comment response because i think you commented on that post after i posted that post.
    either way~ <3 <3
    you are my little butterfly! of course i'd associate anything related to butterflies with you. as the butterfly dances in the air with its wings, its colourful wings flipping - your hair colour changes by the moment, as the butterfly's wings bat a thousand colours at once. true beauty is not constant. <3 it is beautiful in all the forms it takes.
    and :c when someone i love shows even the SLIGHTEST sign of 'i want to go on a diet', alarm bells ring in my body. i feel like i have to be careful, as if i triggered them or something. horrid, disgusting feeling. *sigh* </3
    and all to you, my love!
    have a wonderful, lovely day/evening and overall, week!

    ~Sam Lupin

  6. Hi there!
    just wanted to say a quick helloooo to you! I've just recently returned to this community (only yesterday actually) and love your blog =]
    well done on the weight loss! thats so great and i am so happy for you! but i also agree with the other comments - you need to try and cut down on the purging. personally i cant purge at all (i have a phobia of throwing up) so i cant say i know much about it, but i do know that its not good to do it so often, maybe only as a last resort.
    I hope you carry on doing amazingly! xxx

  7. Zinc helps with healthy skin and hair, I take a multivitamin for women, so there is good stuff in that. I also try and deep condition my hair when it gets too bad