Monday, February 18, 2013

My last words

This will be the very last entry I will ever make on this blog.
I don't know what to say.

So much of my life has gone by with all this shit, and finally, finally, I found the place I belonged. I was supported, loved. I was never alone. I want you all, old as well as new followers, to know how fucking much you have meant to me. I'm so grateful for all the times I've been on here, broken down, and found nothing but love a support in you. You are all amazing persons, and I love you with all my heart.

I'm getting really well loves.
I don't binge, purge or cut any more. I don't always eat right, but I don't punish myself afterwards anymore. I may not always eat enough, but I do eat.
I'm getting better. I really am. I still have bad days, but I've learned to live through them.
I've made a promise to myself. From now on, I'm going to do everything I can to make every day count. Not all days may be good, but there'll be something good in every day from now on.

Take care of yourself girls.
I hope you'll be able to fight through this, to get out to the brighter side, feel the warmth and joy.
I'm wishing the best for every single one of you.

I love you girls,
Take care
- Bella

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Anything for you, love.

I hate to dance. But baby, I'd dance with you all night if you asked me to.
And I hate to sing infront of others. But I'd sing you to sleep if you needed me to.
I hate to hold another person, hate comforming them. But I'd hold you, comfort you all night if you felt bad.
And I hate to watch movies with aliens and action an blood and horrorstories. But I'd cuddle up on a sofa watching it with you if you wanted me to.
I hate to think things through and plan ahead. But if you needed that too, I'd do it for you.

And I hate to trust, to let you go your own way. But you asked me to, so I'm doing just that. With tears in my eyes, I'm waiting for you to find the time to write me, between the computergames and the friends you're with.

Because I love you so much. And I'd do anything for you. Even when it breaks me down, makes me want to never let you leave me again. I'd do anything you asked for. Just please. Let me know you love me back...

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Feels like no matter how hard I try

To be a good person, a good daughter, a good friend... A good girlfriend... I always end up fucking things seriously up...