Since December 22nd, 2010, I have now managed to make 100 posts. I have 110 wonderful followers, 304 comments so far, and 5357 blog-views. Oh my...
When I made it, I weighed maybe 3 kg/6,6 lbs more than I do now, but I have been alway the way up touching 89,5 kg/197,3 lbs, and down to 80,5 kg/177,5 lbs again. I have been constantly yo-yoing while having this blog, even more than I did before. Don't know why that is, but I have.
When I made this blog, I had been reading a lot of ED blogs for a long time. I saw they're follow-numbers, saw all the wonderful comments they always got, saw this whole community, open and supportive. I made this blog hoping, but never expecting, that I would be one of those girls.
I have gotten so much more from you girls than I ever expected, ever hoped, more than I ever dared to dream of. You have all meant so much to me. You are all so very dear to me girls. I wish I could meet every single one of you, just to hug you, tell you that I love you, and how very beautiful you are. I wish I could look you all in the eyes, hold your hands, and make you realise that I was telling the truth, that I still am, and always have been.
I love you all so so so so so so so much.
Than you girls. This means so much more to me than you can ever imagine!
So, I woke up to a happy scale, and though I now I'm not supposed to tell you anything about my weight when it's not Wednesday, I can tell you that I am very close to getting out of the 80's (in kg). This is something I haven't been for about 2½ years, and I have been sososo close once. I messed it up big-time and gained almost 10 kg/22 lbs again. Now, I have finally lost them. I actually decided to fast today, but then ruined it when I remembered that I was supposed to ga sell christmas trees with the scouts. So I ate a little breakfast, and then when I came there, I ate maybe a small handfull of crisps.
I swear, I don't believe anyone have ever been as cold as I was when I got home. Okay, of course I do, but really, it was ridiculos! There's not even snow outside, and still, I'm colder than I even remember being all last year with all the snow! It rained constantly, and my shoes, though warm and fluffy, were not waterproof. Neither was my jeans, my jacket, my mitts, or my hat. So I was cold to the bone. I seriously couldn't feel my toas for half an hour after I got home. Also, there was a lovely wind to make my soaking clothes even more lovely to wear. Sigh...
I had lunch when I got home. Purged.
I have a friend comming over in 40 minuts or so. I met her through the scouts, and she's actually 4 years younger than me. It's crazy how fond I have become of this girl. She's so young, and more than just a bit blondie to listen too. She's very sweet and innocent, and she always does everything I ask her too. Not that I try to take advantage of this, but she does, really! Even if I make just a small comment, or ask a group of people to go bring my bag or something. She just does it. She's very very nice though. I imagine that if I hadn't been so buzy trying to be "cool" when I was young (I was very much not cool. I stole from stores, acted up, was a bad friend and a bad person to others. I was very stupid), I might would have been like her. Somewhere, I always was on the inside, I guess.
We're going to watch "Despecable me", have some soup so we can get warm (she's still at the sale), eat crisps and candy that I will purge, and just bond. It's the first time I'm bringing her home. I have been to her place once, put that wan't a date we'd set up or anything. It just happend when she saw me standing alone in the rain close to where she lives one day, waiting for my dad to come pick me up. It was actually her mom who invited me in. Her whole family likes me, mom, dad, and her two younger sisters. They're so nice :)
Oh my, look, a long post where I haven't even complained about myself, my life (well yeah, the danish winter-weather, but else), or my weight. Not even my eating habbits. I'm rulling this positivity-thing!
Oh yeah, besides, I moved the ABC to Monday. It's better when I get to start after a weekend. I don't know why, but I just feel more motivated. Weird, and a lazy ass excuse, I know.
And one more thing, we're going to have the whole family together tonight, since it's Amanda aka. littlesister's birthday the 5th. More eating together, acting happy. Purging. My life has gotten too predictable. I'll stop purging Monday, once I being ABC, I promise! Promisepromisepromise!
Take care of yourself lovelies.
you are all so very special to me.
I love you all!
Stay strong, think thin, be beautiful!