Why is it that we always have to push it away."Tomorrow."
Sorry for not posting lately. I have been quiet the yo-yo lately. Also, I've had lots to see to.
Tomorrow, school begins again. Ask me if I'm looking forward to this? Yes. No. Maybe?
School equals stress, failing, hard work, attention. Bad. It also equals habbits. A stressed work day for my parrents means they are not nearly as up on the food part. It's easier to tell them I'm woth friends, that I've already eaten, all those things, you know.
As I'm writing this, half a pizza is standing in front of my. I already ate the other half.
I'm not really hungry. But I have the flavour of it in my mouth, and I'm not full-full. Half my brain is saying "why waste it now, when you're gonna fail in a couple of days anyway, and then the money for this will be wasted?", the other half say "you ugly fat waste of space. Why are you eating that shit? It's not wating it. You're not going to fail this time. Things will change now!"
The last voice is right.
Things are going to change.
Despite my yo-yoing, I have still put on weight. I don't want to step on the scale tomorrow, 'cause I know it's past the weight I told I would never get past again. So will it be the day after, as well.
Tomorrow is monday. A great day to to start a new diet.
*Just took a bite of pizza*
I am a useless wasted of air. I am using a new diet as an excuse to eat like shit today.
I am nothing, right now.
As of tomorrow, I will be a new me.
Someone who isn't a wate of space, someone who is something.
I will be restricting, and counting, and exercising.
I will be focused, with my goals in mind.
I will set up goals, and dates by when they should be reached.
And I will reach them.
I will loose and loose.
I won't binge.
I will be proud.
And I will be updating you guys they whole time, on calories, eaten and burned, on weight progress, on everything!
*Just finnished pizza*
Sigh. I am going to be everything that I am not, currently.
And everything I am now, I will change.
I will be pretty.
I will be thin.
I will be happy.
Inspiration. Thinspiration. Motivation.
(All os those are taken from heplmegetthin.tumblr.com. They are not made by me, and the credits goes to the girl behind that Tumblr page)
Stay strong ladies.
Prove to me that you are nowhere as weak as me.
I love you all!
Really, I love you.
- Bella ♥