Friday, September 23, 2011

When will I learn?

Binged yesterday.
Put on lots of weight.
Am now fatter than ever in a year. Again.
When will I learn?

SGD on monday.
Fasting throughout the weekend.

Girls, give me all you best ana tips, won't you?
I'll never be what you are.
I can only try.
I'll never be more than a fucking wannabe.

Ana, can you hear me? Are you even there?
Please come find me.
'Cause I'm so lost...

 (I ruin myself. My life is a never ending quest  to be perfect. I can only live when I'm flawless. I shouldn't have been born)


  1. Oh, I'm doing SGD! I'm on the 7th day. I've totally gained my own control. Best thing I can tell you is to eat every 3-4 hours. You can keep it in your intake but just do so. And I measure. A lot. My calories. Measure every bit of them. :)
    And lettuce. Build your salads on lettuce.
    Eat loads of carrots. I cut them down, weigh them to 60g/80g and eat it. 25-33 calories. Feel like nothing but doesn't let you go so hungry you're willing to eat ANYTHING.
    We're together in this.
    We can do this.
    And we WILL prove them wrong. ;)

  2. yes, parents don't often like tattoos. Mine aren't keen on that either, but I'm 21 and it's not like I'm a punk or something. I'm pretty boring :p

    well, if you go off to university you probably have to move out so there is your chance, dear!!

    have an amazing day :)

  3. You will get there, sweetie. Everything you wish for can come true by just making the right choice again and again.
    Good luck with the fasting this weekend! <3

  4. Try not to worry about the bingeing. We all end up giving into it at times. All you can do is pick yourself up, brush yourself down and move on.

    I'm fasting this weekend too.
    Yeah my tutors are absolutely lovely. Most of the bad ones I've had were back in high school. A few just didn't give a damn about anything. xx

  5. lucky you get to fast this weekend
    i hope it all goes well darling, and
    when you fast drink lots of tea! it helps
    rev up ur metabolism (green tea that is) and
    it keeps you feeling full. and when your coming
    off your fast stick to soups and gradually build
    up into more dense foods.
    this way you wont regain any weight :]
    good luck, love you

  6. I will try fasting this weekend too. starting today. good luck on your fast! you would think it would be really easy to just do nothing. eating takes a lot more energy, time, and effort than just not eating does...