Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Tired. Sad. Yet, somehow, positive.

I have to admit right away, I broke my fast last night. Not by a whole lot, but more than I should have. I shouldn't have done it at all. And, not only that, but I also sort of binged this morning. Don't know about that. Ate over a 1000, which is really bad. But compared to what I've been eating the last couple of months, I'm not as worried. I am worried that I'll gain all the weight I lost from yesterday right back on (1,2 kg/ 2,6 lbs).
So, just did a 1000 steps on my small... I don't really know what it's called? That one where you stepping, but also slightly out to the sides, so you get the stomac with. Did that on a high inpact, then a bit of hoola-hoop (a tiny bit - apperently, I've lost my ability to do that ._.), and I've got an hour of Zumba comming up, where I'm planning on giving it all I can.

Heres my guess to why I was so weak this morning: I didn't sleep at all last night. I just... Wasn't tired. I still aren't, and I've now been awake for 27 hours straight. I've only done that, like, once in my life before. But back then, I felt tired as hell after the first 24 hours. I'm not tired at all. Just really, really hungry (all that you-need-6-hours-of-sleep-so-your-brain-can-make-something-blablabla). Or, it's not so bad, after the binge of course. But I can already feel it creeping back. Yuck.

So, since I'm going to Bulgaria this saturday and wont be able to write you lovelies at all in two weeks, I got an idea. I'm gonna make, like, a real small journal, where I'll write a bit about what I eat and how much I exercise every day. Then I can post it when I come back :)
The good news: the hotel has a gym. And, several pools. I don't think I've ever mentioned it on here, but swimming is my number one favorite kind of exercise. I was actually a sort of amature-pro (does that make sense) for 6 or 7 years. Then I got fat, didn't felt like showing off my body anymore, quit and got even more fat.
I just love how you feel like you weight nothing while floating in the water.
I'm gonna swim at least an hour every morning, and every afternoon. And though I know it'll be hard as hell, and I probably wont be able to hold it I will do my best to restict while down there. Not, like, starving restricting. But very much keep an eye on what I order.

We have this thing in my family, we go out to eat every stinking night while on holiday. Back in time, I absolutely loved it, sensing the energy of the city after dark. But this year, it'll be hell.
For one thing, I can't order a salad more than two times a week, or my parrents will get pissed for no absolute reason at all.
Second, I'm just not the type to ever order a salad. I just look at the menu cart and see all thoose yummy things, and then I just get whatever I want. This is not a big problem normally, since I'm eating out maximum 2 times a year. But this will be every fucking night for 2 weeks! Dear God, give me strenght. Please, make me choose the salad! (No, I'm not taking the Lords name in vain - I'm a Christian, but I normally don't preach or pray public. Guess I just need the extra strenght for thoose 2 weeks :/ )

This is the hotel I'm staying at. It's got 4 stars, and it's literally right down by the beack :P

Please lovelies, I need you now. Any advice you can give me on how to stay motivated for thoose 2 weeks, when I'm supposed to just relax and enjoy myself, anything no matter how small it is. Please, please, have anyone got some advises?

Yikes. This positive post ended out pretty damn sad.
Guess I'll just end it here.
So, all my pretties.
Any advice will be treasured!
Stay strong, all you wonderful women and girls out there.
Remember, I'll always believe in you!
Thin thin
- Bella 


  1. I don't have any advice except enjoy yourself :) you have your exercise and salads- maybe just have smaller portions of non-salad food? :)

  2. have fun!! its hard to stick to diets during trips cus u want to be comfortable but what i would do is hang around the beaches and look at all the super thin girls!

  3. The less i sleep, the more i eat. I'm not sure why, but i know it's true for a lot of people. So don't feel too awful about those binges you just had because of lack of sleep.
    If you stick with chicken and sea food in smaller portions, it's harder to add up calories in a hurry than if you order red meats. Other than that... i only wish you the best of luck. But i'm sure you'll be exercising off any calories you put on anyway. stay strong!