Monday, April 4, 2011

Well, I suck.

That was fast. Very fast.
Failed a bit on my second day of ABC. And failed a LOT on my third. Had a huge fight with my boyfriend, and I ended up stuffing my face, while cutting my hand. Today, I've ad to pieces of deep pan pizza. With meat! I swear to god, I didn't even think about it. Today I feel sick. Very sick. Good. I feel so bad! I haven't eaten meat in a long time. I'm so dissapointed in myself.
Tomorrow I'm going to fast. The day after that - I don't know. Fast again, or very little food. Depends on the excersice. I can't excersice a lot, if I haven't eaten anything at all. I'll go to the gym tomorrow though. And wednesday. Gosh, I hate myself!

I honestly have no idea what to tell you girls. In 1 day, I put on all the weight I'd lost in 3. Now it's gonna be 3 more days, before I can continue from where I was. I have to loose 8 kg/17,6 lbs before May. I will be 75 kg/165,3 lbs before my birthday! I'll be 17 at May 27th :)

I've realized a reason I have a hard time reaching my goals. I never reward myself for reaching them. So I'm going to make a list with both goals and rewards. I have no idea what it'll be yet, but I promise I'll write it here as soon as I have :)

Skpped school today. I onestly didn't really felt like it. Just hanging out with the boyfriend instead, listening to music. Trying to do some homework. Sigh.
I reaaaally don't like school. It just takes so much time away from me. Time that I could spend way better. Pretty much anything would be better. I can't wait 'till I'm fully educated, and have a job. Done with all those stupid classes that I'll never use for anything anyway. Just me, and a job I enjoy. Dunno what that'll be yet, either. Gosh, I suck at planing :o

So, that's pretty much it for today, I guess.
Think thin, ladies.
Stay strong!
- Bella

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