I just don't know.
At some points, I'm happier than I should be. And sometimes, I'm sadder than I should. But I'm never just somewhere in between, my feelings never makes sense!
I get to bring my boyfriend on my vacation! I'm so excited! 2 weeks in Bulgaria, just me and the people I love. My mom already arranged it and everything.
So now, I should be really, really glad. But the first thought to go through my head was: "You better loose some weight - a LOT of weight - before Bulgaria! Do you wish to embarrass him?". No. No I don't. I'm going to practically LIVE in a bikini down there, and though I can't reach that gorgeous-stage before that, I can be way better than I am now. So from now on and until we leave (9th of July) I'll constantly be working out, counting calories, dieting hardcore. Which is good. He gives me the motivation I need.
ABC day 1 yesterday. I only had 3 apples, medium size (162 calories) and 6 rice crackers (156 calories), so I didn't use up all of my calories for the day. No one said I had to. I don't know what I'll do today. Diet sodas are a must. Maybe I'll just buy some more rice crackers? Ate my last ones yesterday. Dunno. I ought to plan it now, so I don't binge. But I just can't be concerned about it. I will not binge. I need to be thinner for Bulgaria.
Weighed myself yesterday. It was real bad, but of course, I have to write it here anyway. I actually weighed four times yesterday, after the morning. I promised I wouldn't. I just forgot. At least I didn't step on the scale this morning.
Monday morning, I weighed a massive 83,6 kg/184,6 lbs. I suck.
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I actually began writing this at home. But I was pretty late, so I just shoved the laptop into my bag and ran. So if there's any change in my mood that I can track, forgive me. I'm too lazy in the morning xD
Just bought a six-pack of diet sodas. No coke, but some sporty one. Cheap. Delicious. Yum.
I honestly don't know how I'd get through the day if I couldn't drink my beloved diet sodas. I would binge even more. And that tells a lot.
They just saves my life! Whenever I crave something sweet, when I feel dizzy, or when I just feel like it, I drink one. And then I always gets better. Thank you, diet soda, for saving my life! <3
So, girls, I'll leave you now. Need to pay attention in class.
Stay strong, you beautiful girls
I love you!
- Bella
oh my, i dont know where id be without soda either. it fills me up. and makes me feel better. :P good luck with the abc. i sense to see a tiny girl in bulgaria in july. (: <3 stay lovely.
ReplyDeleteYou are going to look great for the summer, with all of that hard work he better measure up to you!
ReplyDeleteI have recently become obsessed with vitamin water zero so I'm very much understanding the diet drink love.
I agree about diet soda. It always picks me up when I'm feeling weak.
ReplyDelete~MLM