Friday, February 11, 2011

Getting myself together!

My last week has been like this: Fasting-Overeating-Overeating-Fasting-Fasting-Overeating. How great is that?
Today I've eaten, like, 100 g. of ice cream, with, like, 10 g. of cocoa-pops on top. I know it's bad, but it could have been very much worse. I've calculated it out, and I've only eaten 282 kalories. So it's okay.

My boyfriend is killing me! It just keeps getting worse. First, I'm not pretty. Next thing, I'm not even okay! He won't call me ugly, but seriously, what else is left? Then I don't dress right, I'm not good in bed, I'm jealous, everything is just wrong with me, apparrently. Well, thanks for supporting me honey...

All boys are assholes!

We've got the My Chemical Romance concert coming up in 1 month and 4 days. But then, I need to be 75 kg/165,3 lbs. This morning I weighed in at 83,1 kg/183,2 so I have a lot to do. But I'm gonna make it - I've lost more weight in that period of time before. But I'm gonna eat less than 300 kalories a day, for the next month. That's a tough one. At least for me.

The last week I've been in a dangerous mood. Like "I don't care" and "I'll never get thin!" "Why do I even try?". Those kind of things. I hate being alone. And yet, I keep seeking for it myself. I hate feeling alopne, but for some reason I always feel best when I'm miserable. When I think back, the happiest moments were always something where I, at the time, felt like shit.
Why am I so weird?

Guess I better get back to the homework. I'm an awefull lot behinid, and I reaaally don't want to be kicked out of school! Sorry I've been so bad at updating lately, but apparrently, teachers thinks it's illegal to have any sparetime. I'll get better at it, I promise!

Stay strong girls!
You're all so beautiful :)
- Bella

1 comment:

  1. hang in there. you can reach your goal if you work hard :)