Current weight: 80,1 kg/176,6 lbs (BMI 28,7)
Loss: + 0,8 kg/1,8 lbs
GW2: 78 kg/171,9 lbs (BMI 28)
First off, I'd like to apologize to you lovelies. I am the worlds crappiest blogger, only overdone by how bad a follower I am. So sorry! But new, holiday's over and I'm back! I swear I will catch up on everything today, I will post a bunch of lovely comments, and I'll be super supportive! Is that ok? Can you please forgive me? *puppy-eyes*
So... A gain. Again (HAHA, that looks so cool! I didn't even think about that!). When will I ever find willpower? TODAY! This year must be different. This year is my fucking year! So now it's back on and just keep up.
I decided to start ABC again since... Well, I was just tired of not doing anything. ABC is better than nothing, way better. Also, it's a way to get back into restricting again, something I haven't been doing for a very long time!
These past couple of days has been bad. They have involved tons of fast food, meat, candy and everything else I could lay my hands on. And I haven't been purging. That's why I've gained. I just decided that I don't want to be addicted to that nasty habit anymore. Like, why waste money on food, if it's just going to come right back up? I don't have a lot of money as it is already, and then I decide to throw them away like that. I might as well just eat the money and throw them up, it's the same. I have become way to used to just being able to eat whatever the hell I want without gaining, just because I'm able to get it back up. I've lost control, and that, ladies, is not acceptable!
Also, there has been cutting again. And a lot more than it used to. It seems that since I developed this bulimia-thing, I have started to cut more.
No, that's a lie. Since I started following SI blogs on Tumblr, I have started to cut more.
Oh my girls. What am I doing to myself?!
I ate an apple (61) for breakfas and a fresh breath (5,5)t. Normally, I don't eat breakfast at all, but I was feeling dizzy and faint, so I decided I might as well start my day by eating instead of fainting. I had a salad for lunch, consisting of only lettuce (16) and some dressing (105) to make it more interesting. And yes, I do drown my salad in dressing. I am so picky, if I didn't, I wouldn't even eat the stuff. Delicious, and as long as it's without the pasta and chicken I used to add, absolutely alright if you ask me. I have bought both rice cakes and a pack of strawberries on sale, on this time of the year! Fuck yeah! Yes, I love strawberries. I was thinking about eating those strawberries for dinner, along with some soup or something. I have calculated it all, and with the strawberries I'll only be on 290 calories. I'm allowed 500, so I can eat both some soup and some more fruit with that.
Here, I would normally have said bread. But I have decided to lay low on the fattening carbs, like pasta and bread and cheese stuff. I love all these things, so it's very, very hard for me to do. But I need to keep trying. It doesn't matter if I eat only 500 calories every single day, if they're all from chocolate and crisps and that sort of stuff. When restricting, I need to give my body what it really needs. That's why I've decided that the only bread I can eat is rye-bread, for the fibers, and the only cheese I can eat is... I don't know what it's called. It's like cream cheese, except it's not made of cream, but something much more healthy. It's still something you spread over the bread. WhatisthenameofitGARGHASDFGL.KM!
You know what I mean...
Google translate says processed cheese, but when I google images of processed cheese, it's NOT the same! Do you know cheesz dippers? It's like that! It's that kind of cheese that you dip the bread-stick in! You know? No? ... Never mind!
So, lovelies. I've got to get back to my spanish class, translating weird spanish words from the assignment we just had into danish!
Until next time lovelies, take care. I love you so much, and I promise I will be reading and commenting and stuff as soon as I get home!
Love you so much.
Stay strong, think thin, be beautiful!
- Bella ♥