Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Weekly weigh-in - at last!

CW: 79,5 kg/175,3 lbs (BMI 28,5)
Loss: +0,7 kg/1,5 lb (over 9 weeks!)
GW2: 78 kg/171,9 lbs (BMI 28)
Yes girls, I finally got below the 80's again, and I even felt strong enough to post it. The weigh-ins are back! Also, I'm planning on irritating my mother until she takes me with her to the gym today. I haven't been to the gym since... Well, since I stopped posting my weekly weigh-ins, actually. What a waste of money. But, I'm back now. I'm stronger. I can feel it.
As of Sunday night, throughout Monday, and into the middle of yesterday, I managed to do a 36 hour fast. It doesn't sounds like much, but the last time I managed to fast for even just 24 hours was in December. So yeah, I feel very motivated!

Yesterday was not that good eating wise, though I still managed losing some weight.
I had some rye bread with cheese, along with some cookies, a pizza, half a tube of crisps, and some candy. I purged the rye bread, the cookies and the pizza. I don't feel too bad, binging after my fast, 'cause I purged most of it, and it felt so nice to actually have a reason to purge, instead of just feeling super bulimic and purge over one stupid meal. I definitely intend to go on this way, which is fasting and only purging when binging. I'm actually 12 hours into my newest fast already, which I hope will last for at least 48 hours. I don't know about that, but we'll see. It'll only work if I find a way to avoid dinner. So we'll see.
I really, really need to start counting calories again. It's just... When I turned bulimic (I have no problem at all saying this. It feels so strange to be able to admit it so easily!) my daily intake just rose to a point where I stopped counting because I was too ashamed to see it, even if I was the only one who would ever know.
Well, no more. I will fast, restrict, exercise, count. I will go back to that period of my life, except this time, I'll be stronger. Seriously, I'm only 1,2 kg/2,6 lbs from being at my lowest ever while having this blog. That's like, nothing! If I really do manage to fast today and go to the gym, that'll be reached way before the next weigh-in!

Now, speaking directly to everyone who read my last post, the worlds greatest followers, and everyone else who might care: I'm sorry for all the depression-trips these posts are taking. I'm sorry I'm such a selfish bitch. I promise, from now on, I'll think twice before posting anything! Not just post in rage, or while tears are streaming down my face. I can't guarantee there'll be no more of those posts, but the number of them should really drop considerably. I mean, I come here to get my feelings out, but not to make you girls feel bad.
I was touched by the comments you left me. And also just by how many read it. How many cared for me out there. Care.
I can truly say, you are the best girls. I love you so very, very dearly!

Now, to something entirely different! I was at the movies with Nicolaj Monday evening, and we watched The Hunger Games. I know these books are a huge deal in the US, and I'd love to read them, really. But to be honest, I didn't think the movie was super great. I mean, it's not like I came out like"OMG, HURRY UP, I NEED TO BUY THE EFFING BOOK!" or anything. It was a good story with a nice plot. But it wasn't any more than that to me, to be honest. Sorry to every lover out there. I just came to think about it when reading someone on Facebook cheering for it up to the release.
I guess I'm just more of a sexy, bloody, vampire-y kind of girl.
My broken finger is really starting to annoy the hell out of me. The wound on it is itching like hell, and I still have to keep it in the bandage for 2 more weeks. I'm not sure if I'm gonna make that.
How it happened? Well, I was down but the scouts, and we were taking down the swing my patrol had made as our pioneer project. So, we were pushing the rafts, and then suddenly, the ones standing beside me lost control of theirs, which resulted in my finger getting squeezed between the raft I was holding, and their raft, landing on top of it. I got the nastiest wound - the damn thing tore up the skin on my finger! - and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna loose my nail. Plus, of course, the bone broke a little. So, not exactly the perfect night.
At least the pain kept me from eating for almost 18 hours after it happened. But then the guys at the ER fixed it, and I started stuffing my fat face. Sigh.

Oh well, at least you guys are now updated on pretty much everything in my life at the moment. God, what a long ramble of random stuff. Just like I used to make them!

So girls, I'm gonna smoke now. You all take care of yourself until next time I write you!
I love you girls :)

Stay strong, think thin, be beautiful!
- Bella


  1. yey for fasting!!! fast until friday night with me!!!! That's how far I'm taking my current fast :)
    also, if you have not watched this set of blogs, DO IT!!! so triggering and motivating!!! watch her change over 2 forty day fasts! She gets SOO thin!!

    lots of love

  2. Glad you're feeling motivated!! Hope you get to go to the gym, have a lovely day :)

    xx SN

  3. woot woot! U go girl! Ur doing great! Keep it up! See how strong u r? I love how motivated u r abt the gym and everything! Totally rubbing off of u! Stay strong<3

  4. I'm new to Blogger and I'm glad to say that I've spent 99% of my day reading through all your previous posts! I still haven't finished, I'm up to August 2011 right now but I'm going to do it before the end of the weekend! There's just something about your blog that I love <3

    Woo, I'm glad you're feeling motivated! I am too, for once! Haha. I'm sure you can lose the weight before you're next weigh in!

    Stay strong lovely <3

  5. Good luck and keep being motivated! I hate loosing motivation but you sound like you can do anything ;D

  6. thank you for the comment! it is lovely to be back.
    stay strong..