Weakness

How stupid can you be?

"It's only christmas once a year"...

As might have guessed by now, my cristmas didn't went super great.

Christmas evening was okay, I knew I would eat something, but I acctualy underestimated my willpower. I did not eat any of the sweets that night, and I only had, like, 1½ portion of the food. That is bad, yes, but I expected 3, looking back at the other years.

I decided to fast yesterday, since I am no good a purging. And I went fine... Until I decided that a small lunch would be okay. I thought I was able to controle myself. But when I looked in the fridge, and saw all the left-overs... I didn't think about it. I just ate it.

After that, I just kept on eating. All the left-over sweets, chips, bisquits, noodles, I ate everything!

When I weighed myself this morning, I was suprised. I hadn't put on as much weight as I expected, but I had gained about a kg (2,2lbs)

I will fast today, and maybe also tomorrow. I will not eat more than 200 calories a day until new years eve. Then, I will fast, fasting myself into the new year, as a symbol of how the rest of my year will be.

This year I will follow my new years resolution, this year I will get thin!

Even though I'm huge now, in one year, I can still change a lot.

I will not eat.

I will be thin.

Stay strong girls. You're not alone! ♥

- Bella